Tips to help your child sleep when dealing with separation anxiety

Separation Anxiety occurs when your little one develops what is known as “objective permanence.” This means that they have the ability to understand that people and things exist even if they are not in the same room or being seen. This is presented as separation anxiety, which can be heightened during a “regression,” when they are going through mental or physical changes. They are more aware of things and need a bit more comfort and support to get through this stage.

You can see this happening around these ages:

-6 months

-9 months

-12-14 months

-18 months

-2 years

Some signs your child may be experiencing separation anxiety:

-They are more clingy

-Needing to be held or touching you

-Tears or crying when you put them down or leave the room

-Increased sleep warnings (looking more tired)

-Needing extra help all of sudden to go to sleep

-Stranger anxiety

If your child is experiencing these symptoms you can try to help them through this to make it easier on them. Here are some suggestions:

Tips To Help Your Child During This Time:

Under 12 months:

-Play peek-a-boo

-Play hide and seek. Hide around the corner or in other room and get your baby to come find you. If they can’t crawl or walk, get your partner or family member to hold them. This is a fun way to help them learn that it is okay if you leave and that you will come back. This is a skill they need to learn as their brain is developing.

-Put their sleep sack or fitting sheet in your shirt or sleep with it ahead of time to make it smell like you. This will help them to feel more secure sleeping in their crib

-Play in their room in the day

-One on one connection in the day

-Work on letting your baby play independently. Walk away and, if they cry or look for you, let them know you are there and that they’re okay. Start off with only small amounts of time and work up to let them build that confidence up.

-Always say good-bye. This helps them to know when you are leaving for some time versus when you are just leaving to go into the kitchen or go to the bathroom.

-Put them down earlier for their naps or bedtime based on tired cues. Help to extend naps to prevent them from getting overtired at bedtime.

Over 12 months:

- Do all the same tips from under 12 months

- You can offer a teddy/lovey/small breathable blanket. Put it in your shirt or sleep with it first before giving it to them to sleep with. This will help it to smell like you and give them comfort while they sleep. This might not be something they bond with right away. Try getting them to play with stuffed animals while they are awake to help. You can start this at a younger age, just to help them become familiar with it. Then at bedtime routine, let them hold it and cuddle it during book time. Once they are old enough, then you can let them sleep with it. Keep offering it and eventually they will like sleeping with it. If they go to daycare, let them bring this with them to provide comfort during this change.

Just know that your child may need some support to fall asleep or back to sleep. Just ensure they are not overtired going to bed as this can make their separation anxiety worse.

Be sure to download my FREE Regression Guide to help you through these times!