Transitioning To No Nap
How do you know when your child is ready to drop their nap?
If your child skips a nap, do they get over tired and have tantrums? Then I recommend keeping that nap, even if it is just a short nap, to get you through the day. It is normal to have some tiredness 2 hours prior to bed, but if they are really struggling to get through the day and having tantrums then they may not be ready to drop that nap completely.
Every child is different, some can start to drop it as early as 2.5 years old, but if it is not affecting the night time sleep I recommend keeping the nap as long as possible. It is more common to see them drop the nap around 3 years old, but some children need that nap up to 4 years old. So you’ll have to see what works best for your child, their sleep needs and their temperament.
How to preserve the nap:
Is your child fighting their nap, not going down for a nap, or when they do nap do they fight bedtime? Here are some tips for preserving that nap until they are ready to drop it.
If your child is fighting to have their nap, push it back by 15-30 minutes. Start with about 15 minutes, wait a good 5 days, if no change, then push it back another 15 minutes. Be consistent! Keep them in their crib even if they aren’t sleeping, their body is still resting and it is keeping their bodies used to having that nap. Sometimes naps are tricky when they are going through a regression, so keep offering that nap and they may come around.
If your child is having a hard time falling asleep at night, fighting bedtime or waking up in the middle of the night, then cut the nap shorter by 15 minutes and do that length for at least 3-5 days. Keep cutting the nap shorter until this resolves bedtime struggles. The nap can be as short as 45 minutes to an hour to help them be more tired for bedtime while still allowing them some time to sleep so they don’t get over tired. This can be a hard balance to maintain until they are ready to drop that nap completely but will certainly be beneficial.
If needed, push bedtime back by 15-30 minutes to help preserve that nap until they are ready to drop the nap fully.
Example of a schedule:
Wake up: 7am
Nap: 12:30 - 1:30pm
Bedtime: 7pm or 7:30pm
Every child has different sleep needs. So, if they have a nap, you can see them sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours in the night.
If you find that their nap is not happening for a good month, or if your child does nap they will not sleep at night then move to a quiet time instead. Anytime a nap is affecting sleep we need to make adjustments to make sure night time sleep is preserved.
Quiet time
This is a designated one hour of ‘quiet time’ in their room, the same as when you would do a nap. During this time, they can play independently with quiet toys (no lights or loud sounds) such as books, blocks, lego, barbies. This is not the time for them to watch tv or a be on electronics as those things actually stimulate the brain rather than letting it rest. By giving them this set time to rest each day you are helping them to stay in a routine and they will resist and fight you less about it. Having a quiet time allows you and your toddler time to relax, and restore they mind so their is less tantrums and tiredness in the later afternoon and evening time. If your child had a later bedtime when they had a nap you will want to move it back up so they are getting 11-12 hours of sleep in the night. If bedtime is too late, especially when the nap is dropped, this can cause them to become over tired and cause early morning wake ups to occur.
Tips to get them to have a quiet time:
You can use a grow clock/hatch to keep them in their room. This is a sound machine that changes colour when it is time to get up or signal that quiet time is over.
You also need to set boundaries and let them know they are not to get out of their room until you get them or until their grow clock/hatch changes colour.
Be consistent! Consistency is key! Having a routine in the day will help them to know when this quiet time is coming. Toddlers thrive on schedules and routine. You are the parent and you know what is best for your child.
Even if they don’t sleep during this time, it still gives them time to rest and restore their brains so they can be happier in the later afternoon up until bedtime. Allowing them to have time to themselves where they don’t have to share or interact with anyone, helps them feel more relaxed, in control and happier.
Not only is this quiet time great for your toddler and their behaviour, it is also very important for you as a mom to have that separate time as well. This can be a time where you relax, clean, get things done, or have one on one time with your other child(ren). Having this break will also help you to feel more restored so you have more patience in the later day. Our children feed off of our energy, so if you do not get a small break in the day, fights and tantrums can happen more easily if you are both tired.
Remember, you need to take care of yourself in order to better take care of your children!
If you are struggling, and need help, you can schedule a discovery call with me to discuss how I can help you!