How To Move Away From Nursing or Feeding To Sleep

If you're finding it challenging to get your baby or toddler to sleep without feeding them to sleep, and you're seeking a more sustainable approach or exploring alternatives, you're not alone. Many families face this dilemma and feel unsure about how to transition away from nursing or feeding to sleep. Fortunately, there are strategies you can implement to establish healthy sleep habits from the start or at any stage of your child's development.

Here’s what you need to do

Step One:

To start, the best thing to do is add in sleep associations as they are falling asleep while they are nursing or feeding. This means rocking your body or sit in a rocking chair, patting their bum, stroking their face, having a sound machine going, even making noises or humming.

Why do this? 

This helps your baby to learn to fall asleep in other ways than just nursing. They will feel comforted and fall asleep more easily when you switch to rocking to sleep. 

Step Two: 

You are going to move the timing of your feeding so they aren’t falling asleep while they feed. You can move the feeding earlier and earlier each night, until it is about 15-20 minutes before bedtime and naps. This will depend on how long they take to nurse or drink their bottle. We want to have at least 10 minutes after the feeding before you put them in their crib. This allows for their belly to settle, especially if they have reflux or spit up. This also ensures that they are having a full feeding and not falling asleep or getting drowsy. We also want to ensure they aren’t overtired, as this can affect how much they drink, their ability to fall asleep and how they sleep overnight. 

You can do this over 3-7 days based on how well your child is doing. You can do a slower approach if your baby is very reliant on feeding to fall asleep or if they struggle with change. You can do a faster approach if your baby does well with change, has been able to fall asleep while rocking, or if they are doing well with the slow approach. If your baby or toddler is older, a faster approach usually works better.

Example of a bedtime routine: 

Day One: Bath, get dressed, book, sing a song, feed, then rock to sleep

Day: Two: Bath, get dressed, book, feed, sing a song, then rock them to sleep.

Day Three: Bath, get dressed, feed, book, sing a song, then rock to sleep

Then after this if they are doing well with the feeding after the bath you can continue to do that. If they are not drinking well, you can always offer one side (breast) or half of their bottle before the bath and the rest after the bath. 

If your child is older than 12 months, move the feeding before the bath. This will make it easier to get rid of the feeding when you choose to. I like to drop the bottle by the time they are 18 months old and offer milk at dinner time instead. This helps them to not get overly attached to the bottle. If you are nursing and want to continue to nurse then offer it at the beginning of their bedtime routine. 

Step Three: 

Now that you have moved the feeding earlier in their routine, we are going to rock them to sleep instead of nursing or feeding to sleep. This is where the added sleep associations introduced earlier can help. When you are rocking them to sleep, you will use the same associations; rock them, patt their bum or rub their face, use a sound machine, and make shushing noises or hum a song. When you remove or stop one association, they still have the other associations to help them fall asleep. 

Depending on how old your baby is, and how they respond to this change, you can start slowly, stop nursing/feeding before they fall asleep, then rock the rest of the way until they are asleep. This only works for some babies. If they are getting drowsy, they might not want to stop feeding/nursing as this is how they are used to falling asleep. If this works for them then you can use this technique then slowly move the feeding later in the routine until they are fully away when rocking them to sleep. If this makes your baby more upset, or if they are older than 12 months, then move straight to having the feeding a bit earlier and rocking them to sleep when they are fully awake. 

If you don’t want to rock to sleep: 

If you are enjoying rocking to sleep, then you can continue to do this. But if this is something you don’t want to do long-term then you can wean this away or go straight to teaching them to sleep independently. 

How to wean away support: 

If your baby is falling asleep well with rocking them to sleep, I would still use the other associations, but slowly rock less and less so they depend on this less. To start I would rock until they are asleep then stop rocking. Next, I would rock until they are almost asleep then stop and just patt their bum or rub their belly or  face. 

After they start to get used to not being rocked fully to sleep, you can transfer them to the crib, and still rub their face or belly. You can even gently rock them by placing your hand on their belly and gently jiggle it back and forth to help them fall to sleep. You can also gently bounce the mattress to help them fall asleep. As the nights go on, you will offer this less and less. This allows them to get used to going to sleep in their crib and falling asleep in there with some help and support from you. 

After you have tried these techniques you can teach your baby or toddler to sleep independently. These slower techniques don’t work for some babies or toddlers. In these situations you can move right to sleep training. 

If you are looking for help with sleep training you can purchase my Ultimate Sleep Training Guide. You can also add additional support with us to get expert advice on your specific child and their needs. We offer one on one services that provide a fully personalized sleep plan and support that will work.